How to Support a New Parent during Coronavirus
Parenthood at the best of times can be a stressful experience, let alone during a global pandemic. The supports we rely on, such as grandparents or other family members, mom and tot groups, yoga classes, and those in-person friend visits that keep us sane are all out the window. While we might be physically isolated, please do not let your loved ones feel socially isolated as well. Here are a few quick ways you can support new moms and dads during their postpartum period in the coronavirus outbreak.
Grocery Support
Meal trains are traditionally a great way of supporting a new family, so consider this the coronavirus adaptation. If you are heading to the grocery store, ask the new parent if they are in need of any groceries. The stress of grocery shopping with a newborn can be high as is, so if you can help them avoid going out, all the better. If you are not able to go grocery shopping yourself, consider sending a gift card to UberEats or InstaCart so the family can order in meals or groceries themselves. While you’re at it, check out this grocery shopping checklist for the postpartum parent!
FaceTime Coffee Date
The postpartum period can be very socially isolating, leading to those baby blues and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. When we lose our ability to go to the park to chat with other parents, the La Leche League meeting, or relax and bond postpartum yoga class, that feeling of aloneness can be at an all-time high. We are social creatures, and feeling a sense of community is essential to our overall well-being.
Reach out and ask if they’d like to have a video chat during naptime. While touching base, try not to focus too much on the news. The postpartum brain rewires itself to be more attuned to danger to protect our young, so all this doom-and-gloom might be information overload.
Ask them about themselves instead. Did they get any fresh air today? When was the last time they had some water? Focus on these biological functions to make sure they’re being taken care of.
Send an e-gift card to a support service
If you have the financial resources, a gift of service can go a long way. Some ideas include:
a lactation consultant
a tele-health pelvic floor physiotherapist
When you gift a service, you also support a small business owner this way and spread the love all around! This is incredibly important during this economically vulnerable time.
Text positive affirmations
Sometimes our loved ones don’t have the capacity to sit through a video chat. But that doesn’t mean you can’t send them a thought to smile about! Some of my favourite quick messages include:
“Hey, just writing to let you know I’m thinking about you. I’m so proud of you!”
“I saw this inspirational quote that made me think of you. How are you coping?”
“There is so much peace and love in your home, even in the midst of this chaos.”
“I so look up to you. Even if things feel hard, know that you are so admired!”
“You are a POWERHOUSE. Nothing can knock you down! And if you feel low, that’s okay too - give me a call any time you want to vent.”
Porch pickup/dropoff laundry service
One job that always piles up for the new family is all of the laundry! Being pooped on, spit-up on, and leaking through nursing bras add up to a lot of loads. Depending on the stay-home order in your area, if you are able to drive, consider asking if you can do their laundry. Ask them to put their laundry in a garbage bag that you can dispose of, and be sure to wear gloves for pickup and dropoff to help everyone stay safe.
Encourage alone time
When following a stay home order, having alone time is a tall order. However, it is essential for all people - new parents included - to have a moment of mindful reflection that can only happen while being alone. This is so much easier when family members and other caregivers are around to hold on to the baby while the parent goes to do their thing, so we have to count on partners to look after the birthing parent right now.
Ask the birthing person if they’ve been able to shower or go for a quick walk around the block without baby (depending on how far along they are in their postpartum window). If they haven’t been able to, see if there’s a way you can support their partner; check in on them so that they feel supported enough to look after baby during their partner’s designated alone time.
