The Real Truth About Postpartum Bodies & Self-Love
Childbirth is an incredible thing. But every new parent, regardless of their background, has those moments of self-doubt. Childbirth places great strain on your body, bringing with it immense changes.
Discussion of your postpartum body can feel taboo. You’ve just given life, why are you focused on yourself? But the truth is, every new parent has these thoughts, so they’re worth acknowledging.
It’s time to talk about the real truth about postpartum bodies and self-love.
Acknowledge the expectations placed upon you
The first thing you should do before loving your postpartum body is to acknowledge the expectations put upon you by society.
Tabloids and celebrity magazines are obsessed with celebrity moms, pre- and post-birth. Double-page articles celebrating how yet another A-lister lost 15 pounds right after giving birth are de rigueur for these kinds of publications.
But this kind of immediate post-birth workout simply isn’t normal. Most new parents don’t have a team of personal trainers and dieticians on hand to help them lose their baby weight — they’re too focused on staying energized for the living, breathing human being they’ve just given birth to.
Comparing yourself to these celebs is a self-defeating approach. Indeed, comparing yourself to any other parent is. Every one of us is unique, with different bodies, different pregnancies, and different journeys to take.
Yes, there are expectations placed upon you, but you don’t need to fulfill them. Acknowledge them, by all means — but don’t dwell on them.
Give yourself a break
Wrecked. Ugly. Destroyed.
These are just a few ways I’ve heard new parent describe their bodies after giving birth.
We’re often told to love ourselves, but it’s easier said than done. After nine exhausting months and hours of intense labor, loving yourself can seem like a gargantuan task. It’s no wonder that so many new parents view themselves so unfavourably.
Be good to yourself after childbirth. You have achieved a wonderful thing, even a miracle of nature to some degree. That warrants a little respite from the pressures of society.
Give yourself a break for a while. There will be time to work on yourself later. For now, focus on your new child and the life you are building with them.
Embrace your postpartum body
Childbirth is a beautiful, natural thing. It’s as natural as breathing or eating. And yet, this process (something that most women go through at some point in their lives) is met with revulsion by so many.
More often than not, it’s the media that offers this reaction. As mentioned earlier, certain publications shower A-listers with praise when they get rid of their baby weight while shaming those that don’t.
But this critical reaction also comes from mothers themselves. Reinforced by these negative media depictions, new parents see their body as a failure of their own doing.
Ditch these negative voices and surround yourself with positive affirmations.
Social media is a good place to start. On a platform where so many negative attitudes to body image are propagated, it’s worth following some accounts that do the opposite. Instagram profiles such as @libbyshappyproject and @bodypositivepear post only body-affirming photos that will make you feel good about yourself with every swipe.
Knix, too, is a good example of this. As a women’s underwear brand, Knix puts body positivity at its core, and it showcases this beautifully in its Life After Birth Project.
The project celebrates the natural beauty of mothers, both during and after pregnancy. Saggy bellies and stretch marks nestle side-by-side with snaps of exhausting but beaming mothers feeding their newborn — and it is beautiful.
Seek only positive voices in your life — you owe it to yourself.
Be practical and realistic
The above points are all well and good, but let’s be realistic: the journey towards self-love is fraught with challenges.
You can repeat positive mantras, surround yourself with affirming voices, and eschew the negative media depictions of pregnancy. But in reality, that critical voice in your head is hard to quell — self-love doesn’t happen overnight.
Don’t expect to wake up one morning and feel happy with what you see in the mirror. This takes time — a long time. Even if you do feel comfortable with yourself one day, the next morning that positive feeling might disappear again, only to be replaced by insecurity and self-doubt.
Look at self-love not as a state of mind that can be turned on and off, but as a journey. There will be peaks and troughs. It’s okay to wake up sometimes and not like what you see in the mirror, but it’s not okay to hate yourself for trying.
Self-love is a difficult thing for anyone, let alone a new mother. While it can feel like an impossible journey, it is achievable. Remember the above and take it one step at a time. Be realistic, be kind, and keep pushing on — you will get there eventually.
—